Communications companies that can't communicate.

The most paradoxical frustration in the postmodern, fiberoptic-faceted world is the communications company that can't communicate, not with its customers, not even among its own departments. Like a drunken, cross-eyed spider, this is a beast that should be adept at navigating the complex snares of the worldwide web, but instead, stumbles, rolls and cocoons itself.




I noticed this first when I actually worked for one. I was doing Internet maintenance for a major telecom. Yes, I did that in 2000. Sounds impressive, but the job consisted mostly of finding the router that wasn't working and rebooting it.  It was one of those older companies in which an Internet-DSL framework was built ad hoc onto existing phone lines, an infrastructure never made for such a change in technological direction. To add to that problem, the telecom had made acquisitions of other companies, some departments of which were redundant to the native ones. I noticed how badly the departments worked together, and how poorly members of one department regarded those of other ones.

Such as my boss sent me on a cyber-quest to repair this router that had been flashing on our screens for months, and it seemed nobody could find its physical location. As it turned out, the silicon cyber-slab was in a laboratory that had been otherwise vacated. It wasn't connected up to anything, and nobody at the site had permission to unplug it. So, it continued to be a flashing dead end sign on our network.

I experienced a similar problem as a consumer. A little before I became a tech I had occasion to call my ISP about having cable TV dropped from my service. In other words, to unbundle my bundle. After several calls and many wasted minutes on hold, I finally reached somebody. They gave me the number to another department. No, they didn't transfer me, and couldn't. They gave me a number. Apparently, the line I at which called them serviced the wrong region! It was listed in the telephone directory (yes, whippersnappers, I held one in my hands once) as the local service number, the ISP had either listed it by error or reorganized after it was listed.

To put more egg on their faces, the number they gave me didn't even work.When I called them back at the wrong number, they had to transfer me around to find the right one.

This is similar to what happened to me today. A year ago, I signed up for an ATT DSL account that gave me the cheapest broadband deal in town. On fixed income, that's the only deal I can take. I got DSL for $20 a month. (I'm rounding up a nickle throughout this post.) The speed sucked, but I could work with it, and had to because when you're broke, price wins the argument.

However, I saw that my one-year contract was about to expire. I had marked that on my calendar, knowing full well once it did, I would see my price spike. I was proactive in trying to avoid it. AT&T agreed to extend my contract, but said wouldn't do it for any less than $24.

I know, it's just $4 right? But it's also a whopping 20% price hike, for no improvement in service, which had neither been fast nor reliable to begin with. I balked. Then I shopped around, and I found much faster, more reliable service. (Not too difficult, it's the only other ISP in town.) The problem is, it was $30 not counting taxes. Cable, unlike DSL is taxed above the list price.

I called back my current ISP. This time, HAL the automated system was no genius and couldn't understand what I was saying.

"Ex-tending Service!" I said slowly.

"I'm sorry. I can't understand you. Can you please say that a different way?"

No, I couldn't. I drew a blank. "Contract expiring."

"I'm sorry . . ."

I finally compromised and spoke to sales. Bad choice.

The woman on the other end, had an accent that could have been Chilean Spanish, Micronesian or Tagalog. Not an optimal spokeswoman for a communications company servicing the Midwest. She was almost as bad at communicating as HAL had been. She tried to up-sell me, and I waited a while for her to do her job, but she went on and on with it. Finally, I said, sounds good, but I don't have the money for any of that, I'm talking about continuing the level of service I have now.

She told me she'd extend my service, told me it would continue at the same level for the same price. I thought, great deal, that's all I wanted thanks!

Of course, what had happened was she realized she had no commission coming, lost interest, and was telling me anything to get me off the phone. I can't blame her too much. Without the commission, she probably gets paid in cow dung. However, she should have at least transferred me to someone who wasn't under that stress.

(Consumerism, however, puts a wedge between the people as workers and the people as consumers. To survive against Marxism, capitalism morphed into consumerism. I don't know if it was by plan or evolutionary accident, but the proletariat has been divided against itself since. That's my social and socialist observation.)

When I opened my bill today, I found it was for about $34.

To me, that's breech of contract, AT&T.

I called and canceled my service, and called the other-- the only other-- ISP in town and agreed to faster service for what will be about the same price. As I canceled, the customer service woman, who emphasized she was in Misery-- I'm sorry, Missouri-- (the first and last thing she told me), offered me the low-low price of-- $24. Ah, yes. That 20% price hike for not improving a thing. But I was not interested in continuing service with them. Been there, done that, the door is shut.

I suspect the extra $4 would not go to paying their sales staff something above cow dung wages. Nor will it go to upgrading their voice-operated call sorter. It definitely won't go to upgrading their DSL.

I'll have to swallow the higher price, somehow, though the faster, more reliable connection does sweeten the deal. It's not that the company I'm switching to is not better than AT&T. It just hasn't pissed me off, yet.

Part of the problem is that telecom companies today are too big to care. They neither serve consumers nor workers very well, but they do serve shareholders and the politicians they buy.