Chilling the Neighbor Relations

I live in an interesting little apartment building. The guy living on one side is gay and has loud, howling sex with his dates. From the guy on the other side, I hear loud Christian Radio coming through my walls.

I was talking that second neighbor today, I needed to borrow something, when he mentioned I should consider tuning in to 91.5 FM. He said, "It's Christian radio. Do you believe in Jesus."

I searched for an answer that wouldn't offend him too much, but instead came up an honest one. "I think he probably once existed." There followed a moment of icy silence.

"In all the time you live, that's the best you can do?"

"Yes, sorry."

"No, I feel sorry for you." Of course he does. I was thinking of a comedy bit where we argue about who's sorrier, already done in Dr. Strangelove. But it's better to quit while I'm ahead.

I wouldn't bet the house on it, but I think there's pretty good chance that Jesus the man did not even exist. Frank Zindler makes a strong argument in "The Jesus the Jews Never Knew." There are no reliable secular authorities that recorded him, including a  few who were in Galilee and would have written about him. There's no record of him at the time from Jewish authorities. In fact, it's impossible to say Christianity even arose from Palestine. It could have started from anywhere.

I'm not as given to this theory as Zindler, but it has merit. Why would the Founders of the Church lie so terribly? Why did L. Ron Hubbard or any cult leader lie?

Since our conversation, Christian Radio has been playing quieter from the West. From the East, I expect more from Sodom and Gomorrah tonight. And I don't mind. It's much quieter here than the place I used to live in. I guess I could crank up some hetero porn to cancel the noise scientifically, but I'm used to sleeping with earplugs and they do just find.